Suzy & Mickey’s Blog – December 2025
Suzy Wood: I have spent a lot of time lately musing on the nature of sporting identity.
Monansunu: Why?
S: Because it underpins the nature of success. After I found out that there is no need to go as fast as I possibly can from the moment that the flag falls, it is apparent that what character I offer the competition can affect their performance as well as mine.
M: Are you sure?
S: Absolutely. Do I become the irritating competitor who causes so much annoyance that the oppo is distracted? Or are you the master of that?
M: What?
S: Can I be the silent assassin who picks them off one by one from the back?
M: I am beginning to believe that for you, anything silent is a good thing.
S: Perhaps I should be the one who sits right on the heels of the most dangerous ones, reminding them that every time they up their effort, I have got it covered. Or the one that outjumps the field at every hurdle and then instantly steadies to leave them in awe of what energy and confidence that I have in reserve.
M: At the moment, you sound like the weirdo who talks nonsense.
S: That could work too.
M: What brought this on?
S: It was when Ephyra and Somkiyr ran over jumps for the first time on the same day. They are very different characters, yet ran in similar races. I needed to know how that worked.
M: You could have asked them.
S: I did. Ephyra said it was fine and she did not know what the big deal was.
M: And Somkiyr?
S (sighing): Basically he said, and I can’t do the accent, something along the lines of ‘Why does everyone think that I am a ridiculous French stereotype? Now pour me a glass of pastis while I flambee this pile of goose innards with a heap of onion and garlic.’
M: That is not very helpful, but it does sound like something that he would say.
S: And don’t forget the newbies that we don’t like…
M: You don’t like them. I think they are fine.
S: …The ones that are conspiring against us. They both won in the same week and now just go out in a field together and mutter about it. Why won’t they tell me anything?
M: Perhaps you could send Douglas to get the info from them.
S: Dougal.
M: Whatever. Just get him to ask.
S: But I don’t know what questions need to be asked. I know what I know. I know some of the things that I don’t know. But there are things that I don’t know that I don’t know.
M: Yes, I can see how that would be a problem. My only suggestion is eat more hay and think about it.
S: I will give that a go so that we can we get to this month’s letter. It’s from a Mr Mel Gibson of Hollywood.
M: If you recall, Monty’s Award warned us to ignore anything from him.
S: Really? He says “Hey, Gibbo here again. I know who is behind the conspiracies, but I cannot say here because it has got me into trouble before.” Then there is a whole bunch of unintelligible ramblings, but at the end he says that he wants us to meet him in the darkest corner on the top but one floor of a multistorey car park in Swindon, where he “will reveal all that we need to put an end to the conspiracies.” I think we should go.
M: So you worry about two horses that we know muttering in a field…
S: And at the back of their boxes too.
M: But you are quite prepared to meet a total stranger in a secluded place a long way away, one that a wise old horse has advised us to be very wary of.
S: If you must put it in those terms, it is bound to sound foolish. Also Mel Gibson said he will bring apples.
M: In that case, I am in. What could possibly go wrong?
S: Exactly. If Everyonesgame runs at Cheltenham on Friday, Andy will drop us off on the way.
M: But Everyonesgame is, you believe, one of the conspirators, and they will then be aware that we are on to them.
S: Hmmmmm. It’s not an easy game, this, is it?
{You might even say it is a game not for everyone. – smug Ed}
M: And I am busy trying to save you from the owl people.
S: Who?
M: Oh no! I’m too late.