Suzy & Mickey’s Blog – May 2025
Suzy: You are being quite hard to get hold of this month.
Mickey: Been out in the field. No signal or anything.
S: Which field?
M: Head for the A264 and first one over the river. There is a public footpath through it, so we get to see lots of people.
S: Lots of treats?
M: Actually, no. They’re not overly well trained. I am thinking of levying a toll.
S: Not a bad idea. How much to cross the field?
M: Not sure yet. The unit of currency will be carrots, but if they bring an apple, I am not sure what the exchange rate should be.
S: How about two carrots equal one apple. So it is one apple to cross, or two carrots.
M: What if it is an orange pippin?
S: Oh jeez. That is definitely worth three carrots.
{Sorry to pour water on your idea, but I don’t think it is legal to charge a toll for using a public footpath – Ed}
M: Well it is not a toll as such. It is a fee to protect them from the troll under the bridge.
S: Which bridge? There are two.
M: That’s the clever bit – whichever bridge they cross, then the troll must be under the other one.
{Now it just comes across as a protection money racket – Ed.}
S: It only comes across that way because that is exactly what it is.
{What if they have brought their own goats? – Ed.}
M: Goats? Ha!
S: What use is a goat against a troll? Have you seen a troll? They’re effing enormous!
{Well, once upon a time, there were three billy goats gruff… – Ed.}
S: Stop! I know this story. It’s not about trolls and goats at all. It is really trying to persuade us that the grass in the next field is NOT better than that in the field we are in. Which is a clearly a malign propaganda exercise.
M: Wait. There’s another field? Where?
S: Don’t listen Mickey.
M: But any story with goats is funny. It’s a rule, or an ancient charter or something.
{Anyway, these three billy goats… – Ed.}
S: Oh no, it looks like my signal is dropping out too. Look, there – it’s gone.
[Long pause]
M: Is she coming back online?
{Does not look like it – Ed.}
M: So, are we done for this month?
{It seems that way – Ed.}
M: It doesn’t feel as if we achieved much.
{Should we go through the letters sent in since the last blog? – Ed.}
M: Oh no. Definitely no.