Eklil Blog – April 2024
What is an Eklil? That is the question that most people ask me first. I tell them that it is a wild man who lives in the woods of Bulgaria, and hits people over the head with a big oaken club if they ask too many questions. I actually have no idea whether it is true or not, or even where Bulgaria is, but if I repeat it often enough it becomes true.
{Welcome to the internet – Ed.}
For those who have not been monitoring my every move, I came to Shovelstrode last autumn, so have done well, I think, to take over the blog in such a short time, and without any plotting or need to hire some muscle to take out potential rivals. The plan was for me to be here so that I could jump over stuff, but the first time we went racing to do that, I got a bit over-excited and things got messy. As I found that very demoralising, Andy said I could have another go at flat racing, but at that time, there was no turf flat racing on, so I had to go on the all-weather. That is a term I hate, because it is intended to be a description of what is under my feet, yet somehow it has become an artificial construct derived from the impact of the climate at a given point in time. Henceforth I shall refer to it as the No Grass, and will ignore any communication that does not do the same.
Anyway, I have had a few goes on the No Grass, and I have not found it unenjoyable, but would rather tackle something with stronger aesthetic qualities. What I mean by “aesthetic qualities” is grassy, warm and dry.
{Beginning to see why Monty made his choice of replacement blogger – Ed.}
Due to a bizarre accident of circumstance I did end up winning a race in April a couple of years ago, but every other time I have finished in the first two has been May to July, and the one in May was on the 30th of the month. The moral of that tale, everyone, is never take your eyes of off the calendar. If you do, dangerous precedents get set.
{I once paid my council tax a day early, so I can sympathise – Ed.}
Finally for this month, I will be keeping in touch with Monty’s Award, as after all, if Picasso tells you that he is retiring and has a handful of unfinished paintings for you to work on, you do not take them and then never speak to him again. What Monty had for us in April is:
“Sorry, can’t talk. Watching ‘The Towering Inferno.’ Brilliant film, but I seem to have missed the bit where they discuss typical structural engineering challenges when designing skyscrapers, so I am going to have to rewatch again afterwards.”