Monty’s Award – December 2023 Blog

Update from the barn, where the deer and the antelope roam. How has the dove become a symbol of peace when they are in reality amongst the most annoying of birds? Probably chosen by somebody who never had to live in close contact with doves. Or maybe had peacocks nearby and decided that anything less irritating than a peacock was fine. That is rather like stating that any snake less venomous than a taipan is basically harmless. Fortunately we do not have to worry about taipan bites at Shovelstrode, because all the taipans have drowned in the wet weather since my last blog. I did plan for a blog without any weather complaints, but the meteorology has been intolerable. No complaints about people was also mooted, but whilst mentioning venomous snakes, why do people often describe then as shy and defensive, when more appropriate language would be “extremely dangerous?” Finally, I was not going to complain about any other horses, but…

I have been in here for a couple of weeks with a youngster named Mickey – probably not his real name – whom I have been trying to whip into shape for next year. It has not gone all that well so far, as he is rather inclined to initially agree with what I tell him and then do exactly the opposite. I have seen this before, and it is a problem caused when the other horses take too much notice of the humans, and not enough of wise old heads, of which the best example is me. So if you come to the barn and see Mickey in one corner and me in the other, it is a cooling off period because he has done something else wrong.

Now, after this, you may think that I have a low opinion of Mickey. Well, I do not actually. His complete disinterest in transport engineering gives us a challenge in sustaining light conversation, but his enthusiastic commitment to whatever he does get involved in is something that I can manipulate into a sharp operator. If I succeed, the glory comes to me. If I do not, it is Mickey’s fault for not trusting me.

This month’s question comes from a Mrs G. Martin of Forest Row. She asked if I can make a blog entry without any moaning over the weather, other horses or humans. Well I tried to accommodate that request, and you can see the results above – I just ended up fretting over venomous snakes, and failing to meet the objective. So I am not sure it is a good idea to even attempt again.

There is also time for a second question this month. This comes from a Mr A. Camus, somewhere in France. I have translated to save readers making the effort. He writes: “I was famously a goalkeeper and philosopher. You are almost as famously a racehorse and philosopher. Who is your favourite other sporting philosopher?” A good question, despite the minor dig at me in the middle. I would choose Gottfried Liebniz, who was both a leading Rationalist philosopher, a prominent exponent of science and engineering, and would have won many European titles in both the javelin and shove ha’penny only for the Thirty Years War to get in his way. And when the inevitable arguments arose over whether the slightly larger coins used in Saxony have him an unfair shove ha’penny advantage, his Rationalist knowledge would have led him to win that argument.

Mr Camus also asked if, for a small annual subscription, I would like to join his Société des Philosophes Sportif. I ignored that bit. Have a good Christmas, and don’t eat ALL of the carrots.