Monty’s Award – September 2023 Blog
It seems that since my last blog entry that I have retired from racing. I have no recollection of making that decision, but everyone considers it a fact, which kind of means that it must be one. My leg is a bit sore, so it is not something that I necessarily disapprove of, but I do hope that my opinion has been taken into account during the process. Nobody has shown me a decision making process chart for starters. With my engineer’s hat on, the lack of a gantt chart and a project plan is a cause for concern.
{There was a diagram, but it was an elegantt chart, so we did not want to enrage you again – Ed.}
It has crossed my mind that the evil hand of elephant saboteurs may have been at work, but I am not ready to make any specific allegations as relations between myself and the elephants have settled down now. However, I DO think the injury came when I stepped on an enormous pooh of suspiciously elephantine scale out in the field and slipped a bit. A normal horse could not have produced it.
{What about Stitch? – Ed.}
I get your point, but I did say a normal horse would not have made it. Stitch exists on a different paradigm.
Anyway, it is time to speculate on what the future holds. It has occurred to me that I have already exhausted many of my retirement activity options, and to a certain extent I currently think that perhaps over recent years I should have concentrated more on the horse racing rather than the side projects. I have emailed the Chinese government asking for my airship back, but the only response turned out, once an online translator had been applied, was an out of office notification.
On a more surprising note, I did receive a letter from Mel Gibson congratulating me on my retirement. It was nice to hear from him directly rather than from his lawyers, but there was a hint that he was being sarcastic and also that he thought that I was retiring from the blog. The combined ranks of the world’s elephants, the Chinese government and Mel Gibson have not been able to stop me so far, so what else is going to do so? Note to helper monkey – if I come across a bit too much as a Bond-style super villain, you can edit that out.
{Will do. So far you do not come across as any madder than Elon Musk – Ed.}
This month’s question is from Mrs J Irvine of East Grinstead. She asks whether I enjoyed the National Racehorse Week event. I actually did, surprising even myself. Getting it all set up, when Andy is planning for things to run with optimal efficiency, was not my cup of tea, but once all those people turned out to see me, I did feel the need to make a bit of effort back. Only a small one, but an effort nonetheless. Being in the boxes backing onto the barn helped, next door to Hesbehindyou (excellent loyalty again!), as we got to keep well away from the bouncy castle. All I now need is an explanation as to why I have to share the week with other horses. And I was only slightly offended not to be selected for the “how to win the best turned out” demo, but if I am the model, then it just makes the job look easy!