Eklil Blog – March 2025
Time to hand over to my replacement blogger. I am going to completely disregard the advice of my predecessor, as I have found it to be historically unhelpful, and pass it not only to two horses, but to relative youngsters. What could possibly go wrong?
The first new blogger is Suzy Wood, known in the yard as Suzy (one day I will work out why). The other is Monansunu, known on a day by day basis as Mickey. Initially I did not have a strong idea who to pass the responsibility onto, but they nagged me for ten minutes and I gave in, just for a bit of peace and quiet. So farewell to my human cyber chums and over to those two.
Suzy: I am from a line of point-to-point winners. I have no idea what that means, but one day I suspect that I will find out. I fear it may be some form of interpretative dance thing, but it is best to keep an open mind until all the facts are available.
Mickey: I come from a line of jumping royalty, whose names I do not repeat for fear of intimidating my friends in the yard. I am looking forward to running the blog as it will give me the outlet for my instructions that has, up to this point, been denied. Clearly the deniers fear my potential.
Suzy: We were going to convert this to a podcast, as everyone else in the world seems to have one, and as far as I can see, ninety-five percent of social media nowadays is people giving links to their podcasts. Then I watched some podcasts and what became obvious was that a podcast is merely something where a person (and it is usually a human) waffles on for forty minutes to convey a message that would take perhaps ninety seconds in a normal conversation. So after discussion with Mickey, we are doing this as a podcast, but one that has had the content turned into notes, and a summary published on line. Thus you will find it all a bit easier to digest without getting colic. Do humans get colic? They look like they should.
Mickey: So how is this supposed to work?
Suzy: I say something. You say something in response. And entertainment ensues. Then the helper monkey writes it down and people read it online.
Mickey: It doesn’t sound that entertaining.
Suzy: Trust me, the reality will be better than that pitch sounds. Say something that will grab the attention.
Mickey: I am the Son Of The Moon. Behold my divinity and weep now, for when I have concluded my mighty works, there shall not be time to appreciate the scale of their doing and their wonder. However, whilst these works are in progress, I will accept modest offerings as a sign of your respect of me. Which means “bring carrots.” Always bring carrots. On arrival come directly to my stable. Do not stop and interact with Clondaw Robin. In one way, he is my friend, but in many others, he is a great lump who could do with losing a few kilos.
{Perhaps something enlightening about learning the racing experience – Ed.}.
Suzy: OK. Well I went to Wales for a race. It was quite wet, as I had been led to expect, and we ran round then went home. It was a bit like Woldingham but with fewer buzzards and more people. Then it was off to Plumpton, which is much nearer, but more like Wales than Woldingham with the buzzard/human balance, but drier. We did the same. Next I went to Norfolk, where they put big piles of sticks in your way. I must admit to getting over excited and eventually I tripped and fell over a pile, which came as quite a severe shock. But I worked out what to do from the experience. As for my colleague…
Mickey: I went to Kempton. That was a really bad idea, because they have a statue of Kauto Star there, and he is my family’s arch enemy. It is like inviting all the close descendants of Napoleon to a reconciliation banquet in London and making them stay in the Duke of Wellington’s house. Great Uncle Denman actually declared a fatwa on Kauto Star…
Suzy: Really! What happened?
Mickey: Nothing. He did not really know what a fatwa was, it was just something he had heard on the television.
Suzy: No, I meant how did your race go?
Mickey: Bit like yours. Ran around, came home, had dinner.
Suzy: So there you have it. How to learn to be a racehorse. I think the lesson is that there are no short cuts.
Mickey: Because someone put all those rails in the way.
{Check in for further enlightenment next month – Ed.}